Landon Donovan is a self righteous prick...I could stop there, but let's explore the depths of my hatred for this rusty trombone loving, deusche bag . First off, I hate his bitch ass penalty shot preperation dance / exorcism ceremony. I can't tell if he is trying to raise the dead or pull his panties out of his ass before he makes an attempt on goal. Kissing his wrists, kissing the dirt, crossing himself with both arms. I tried to find better clips but seeing as how USA soccer is not exactly a top priority for the American Sports Fan, these are the best I could do. And before anyone tries to get on me for knocking his religion, THIS IS NOT RELIGIOUS, its called being an asshole. There is a fine line, but also a big difference between the two.
Secondly, leaving Bayer Leverkusen to play for the LA Galaxy...Are you kidding me? You left a decent side in Europe where you were almost guaranteed Champions League soccer every year to go play in front of oh i dunno...9 maybe 10 people a night. I know that's a bit of an exaggeration and Alexi Lalas the gm of the Galaxy would surely point out their numbers clearly indicate an average of 11 to 12 supporters per contest.
Landon Donovan is supposed to be the face of American soccer. As Americans we like our stars to be the All-American hero, but still have a little edge to them. You know the type of guy who will walk your grandma across the street, but kick your dog, and stab you in the stomach with rusty railroad spike if you disrespect the stars and stripes. It's simple, if there is one thing Americans don't like it's p%$#ies, no not the kind that you hope to bring home after a night on the town. I'm talking about the kind that cries when he is in Germany cuz he misses his girlfriend. If Landon were a true American hero he would cheat on his girlfriend with random German hoe's like the rest of our top notch athletes do here in the states. Cee-lo Green once said "My heroes have the heart to live the life I wanna live". I would never cheat on my girlfriend or wife, therefore I expect my sports heroes to do it enough for the both of us.
If this sounds like an unwarranted personal attack, you can bet your ass it is. I'm an American! and unleashing hateful, unwarranted personal attacks is one of our favorite past times. If Landon doesn't like it he can leave, Jozy Altidore will be better than him in 2 years anyways.
3 comments:
i gotta say, that cee-lo line is the most often mistaken line i have ever heard. i didn't know what it really was until i looked it up, but it's: 'my heros had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb.' jmon.
jono, i think your wrong my friend. sometimes the internet is wrong. don't forget that. "out on a limb"??? that line sucks...cee-lo is no chump and i could count the number of bad lines he's ever written on one finger. lets read between the lines here.
i don't know... i can't find official lyrics on their website, but it kind of makes sense in the context. his heroes had the courage to lose their lives in the course of going out on a limb? listen to the song again, i'm pretty sure it's right.
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